grace....

I've lived a pretty awesome life...
I've encountered joy far more than than sorrow.
I was nurtured by my parents and grandparents.
I had teachers who were truly called to their profession.
I've connected with friends who have been able to read my thoughts.
I've felt ultimate and instant eternal love with each sons' first cry.
I've experienced passion with those who could reach my heart.
I've met some pretty amazing people....

Recently I've started in an online guided workshop focusing on the psychology of change. I thought it would be helpful as I work with our members, especially those who seem to yo-yo or give up on their goals too quickly. I thought it would be as easy as learning some tips and tricks to help identify why we do what we do and why can't we change those things in our life that keep us from our goals.
The information provided has been basic and well researched and the assignments have been simple. What I didn't realize is how much I would learn about myself and how I would learn to identify the impact that others have on my life.

In a recent assignment, I was asked to identify 3-5 heroes in my life. Now, if I'd been in a big room full of people in a seminar setting, I would have hurriedly listed the obvious...mom, dad, grandpa, etc....
Surprisingly, as I sat back in the comfort of my home and really thought about it, I realized I am indebted to all of those people beyond measure and I will love them til the day I die, but others rose to the top of my list as heroes.
A hero is defined as:
1. a person of courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities
2. A person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal
After I compiled my list, I had the names of a couple of family members and close friends written down~ no super stars or politicians made my list!
Next, I was asked to write words that came to mind as I thought of each person.
Similar words came to mind for each of them....caring, loving, laughing, strong, accepting, engaged.
The next part of the assignment involved identifying how I would like to be remembered~what words would I like to hear if I could listen to others talk about me after I had passed.... caring, inspire...mom.
As I compiled my list of words, I was to find one "all-encompassing" word that would be mine.... something to hold on to when things got tough. A word that would represent all that is good in myself and my heroes. A word that would bring my world back into focus.
I thought about the men and woman on my list. I thought of who I would like to be, even on my worst day.....
  loving
    laughing
      strong
        caring
          mom
            inspired
              accepting
                friend.......... grace
Grace.... my word. It encompasses those who made my list and it is who I want to be....
so, what did I do??
I googled it!! and I found this:

"Elegance is a glowing inner peace.

Grace is the ability to give as well as receive and be thankful"

~C.Joybell C.                                    

AND......

 

"The grace of God means something like:

Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because

the party wouldn't have been complete without you"

                                                                ~Frederick Buechner

 

What will I do with this? Who knows....  I love working with people. I love watching them to learn to love themselves again. I'd like to take the work I currently do and expand it to families and kids.

I like the fact that I've been invited to the party and I'd like to make a difference before I leave.

 

I like my word~ all that it is and all that it will come to be....

 

                                                                                       

 

 

dreams......

...change over time don't they? Both the daydreams we create in our minds and also the ones that creep into our subconscious as we drift off to sleep. It seems the outside world has more to do with them than we might think.

When I was younger and an athlete, all I could dream about was being the best. It's all I worked for and all I thought about. I surrounded myself with people who could make it happen and every night competition seemed to seep into my sleep.

I don't recall having many sleeping dreams as a teenager.... I worked too much and played too hard- once my head hit the pillow, my brain must have needed to shut down and take a break from me!!
I did however have daydreams about my future and how certain people would play a part in my life.

Once I became a young mother, all of my dreams, sleeping and otherwise, were focused on the health and well being of the boys. I remember watching them play and wondering who they would become.
I remember waking up in the middle of the night, from vivid dreams of the boys, in panic....why haven't they woken up?  why are they awake?  why didn't I hear them come home?

Eventually, I reached the dangerous "all about me stage of my life". I'm sure many of you can relate...
it's that time when you decide, I'm tired of being fat and tired and responsible for everyone and everything in my life. My daydreams turned to making myself healthy and beautiful (and sometimes to finding someone to kidnap me and take me to a magic kingdom where I wouldn't have to work or think if I didn't want to!!). My night dreams disappeared again, because I was running at 100 mph and trying to get in all the life I had missed for so many years.

So that brings me to now... I've been worried over the last few months about Goals. Don't misunderstand, everything is fine at the studio, but I always worry about being enough in an saturated industry. I've met with some of my coaches and instructors to brainstorm ways to be even better than we already are.... my daydreams are filled with possibilities and my sleep is filled with "what ifs"

Yesterday, however,  was a great day. I woke up early and felt well rested. I taught a kickboxing class the night before, in my dreams (scary huh?) and one of the sets stuck in my head- it worked like a charm. My 4:55am class was awesome. The room was full and they stepped up and worked out hard like they always do! I came home after class to eat and get some work done. When I was on Facebook posting some pictures from our Holiday 5K a friend, who is a Goals member, popped into my chat with a link about a young girl who had lost an incredible amount of weight. The story was amazing and reinforced my belief that we need more programs for kids and families who struggle with exercise and healthy eating. Suddenly my brain darted off in a different direction. My day was filled with ideas and planning. I got to workout with a new member- a fit teenager, who ROCKED the bag!! As I showed her each new punch, I thought about how awesome it would be to have more teens and families with smaller kiddos at Goals. Dinner prep involved dreams of GIM family potlucks and my sleep involved an indoor game of Hoover Ball in the kickboxing studio.

Today will be incredibly busy. I have several meetings to attend. I get to tour the new high school with my fellow school board members and the builders and I get to teach a couple of classes. I'll wrap up the night meeting with State Legislators about educational priorities before they go into session.
If you see me today and I look distracted, don't worry... in the midst of my busy day,  it's just the dream wheels turning